This weekend was I think one of the hardest thus far in my life. I've lost grandparents before, but either was pretty young, or such a blessing after a long illness that I didn't realize how heartbroken I was going to be. Grandparents are such a HUGE part of my life and always have been. Being the oldest granddaughter on both sides, you get to know them pretty well and know what an important influence they are in your life and how much you want their presence in your own children's lives.
My Grandpa Bill was such a wonderful, loving man. He was always SO proud of each of us.... and we knew it! I have SO many special memories of him, but one in particular.... We had a family get together at the Delta Rez.. Jason and I had been married for about 6 months and I was SO tired and SO sick... at that time not knowing why. Of course there was a HUGE hug awaiting me upon arrival from Grandpa and that "I love you more than you know" look on his face. Telling him I wasn't feeling well, he just said I better take it easy on that particular day. A few weeks later, I figured out that I was pregnant with Bracken and called to tell Grandpa and Grandma. He said... "I've known since I saw you what was going on and have just been waiting for you to figure it out. You and Jason are going to be wonderful parents. Grandma and I are SO proud of you." Grandpa also told me I would be the mother of some great "boys".... :) How did he ALWAYS know....????? He knew all three of my boys were boys before I knew my boys were boys..... Still makes me smile to think of telling him I was having ANOTHER boy... and that same, yep, I told you so smile on his face.... :)
It never mattered growing up what was going on in our lives, he never judged us, he never scolded us, he never made us feel like we weren't the most wonderful and important person in the world. I knew I could tell him anything, I knew he would listen and offer advice to ANY situation.... not just advice to suffice the situation, but advice to change the situation if needed and to offer words of encouragement.
One of the most treasured memories I will have is putting together the book for Grandma and Grandpa's 50th Wedding Anniversary. All of us grandchildren were asked to write a letter to them. Each letter was SO unique and SO treasured for them.... What I found SO special is that honestly, each of us felt like we were his favorite.... This was mentioned SEVERAL times as his service... I truly believe that each of us were his favorite.... :)
I love you, Grandpa... I'll miss you everyday....
5 comments:
Nat,I know that feeling of loss, it's awful. Our Grandpa's must have been made from the same mold! Please know I love you tons and I am thinking of you!
Nat,
Sorry to hear about your grandpa......You have such a great family! Thankfully you will be with him again someday! We are lucky to know what we know....But it is still hard and I wish I was close enough to give you a big hug! My thoughts are with you. Julie
Oh Nat, I'm sitting here reading your blog, with huge tears rolling down my face, what a difficult thing losing such a special person in your life! It NEVER matters when you loose them, if they are healthy, or if they are struggling with old age and illness, it is still such a difficult thing to go through! I guess the only thing that gets us through such difficult times is knowing that we have friends and family to support us, and the wonderful knowledge of knowing that you will all be able to be together again. We love you guys, know our thoughts and prayers are with you!
-Angie
Nat, I have been thinking about you wondering how things are but just didn't want to bug you. Like you said before thank goodness for Eternal Families!!
Sorry to hear about your loss. Grandparents are truly the best and such wonderful examples. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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